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Part 2 – Disclaimer*** The author boldly shares about her mental health journey – it goes deep, it’s personal, and the primary reason her identity is kept private. Please enjoy her openness.
Coping with Anxiety
Being under regular chiropractic wellness care for the last 5 years, I like to think that I have a firm understanding of the different forms of stress (chemical-emotional-physical) and how they play a role in my overall health and well-being. I eat a fairly clean diet and exercise regularly, which, along with adjustments, help keep my mind clear and anxiety manageable. However, every now and then, especially at points of added life stress, despite doing everything else “right,” my anxiety creeps up, seemingly out of nowhere and the depressive and anxious thoughts seep in. It’s a scary place to be mentally, and can be frustrating when I am trying so hard to live a healthy lifestyle. By far, the mental aspect has been and continues to be most challenging for me. It’s also, I would argue, the one form of stress that has the greatest potential to help heal, but also the greatest stigma attached to it if one is not mentally well.
Having struggled since childhood with anxiety and depression, it’s safe to say that I have battled these issues for the majority of my life. As a child, I suspected, but had no real idea that the anxious and obsessive thoughts I had were abnormal. I remember lying awake at night fearful that my parents were going to die if I wasn’t asleep by a certain time and holding my breath until the morning when I would hear my mom come into my room. That’s a terrifying and dark thought for a young child and one that I very quickly realized was abnormal after I shared it with my parents, who laughed and told me to “lighten up.”
The scrambling in my head…
My anxiety was not formally diagnosed until I was 17 – my mom was terminally ill and my family doctor asked me if I was having anxious thoughts about her dying. For the first time in my life, I felt “permitted” to share those thoughts. I recall being handed a prescription for Ativan and promptly sent on my way. There was never any mention of natural endeavors or how other aspects of my life, including exercise and diet, might help or harm my mental health. The Ativan served as a temporary fix, yet the anxious thoughts continued. Six months later, as I was beginning my first year of undergrad, my mom passed away and, as the anxiety and depression caused by grief intensified, so did the number of prescriptions. I spent the next 7 years on and off prescription antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, none of which ever helped entirely and all of which came with a variety of nasty side effects. My family doctor was adamant that the apparent chemical imbalance in my brain could only be “fixed” by these drugs, while my therapist who liked to brag that he was not normally a “drug pusher,” insisted that remaining on them would make his job “easier.” Natural alternatives were never mentioned, never a thought. It was only during my first year of chiropractic care that my eyes were opened to the possibility of a life without relying on antidepressants to simply function.
My first year under chiropractic care was truly incredible.
That feeling of “amazing”
For the first time in at least 10 years, it felt as though I no longer needed to worry about physical pain and other symptoms limiting my ability of what I could do. After the first six months, I no longer worried about waking up with back pain or being bogged down by a migraine. Although I had originally sought care for physical pain, with my nervous system working better, I was also able to handle emotional/mental stress in my life in a way that had never seemed possible and I no longer felt the need for antidepressants. I could make plans with friends and family without the threat of needing to cancel due to pain or anxiety, and experienced entire days of productivity. There was no stopping me – or so I thought.
As I began experiencing some more stressful events in my personal and professional life that left me feeling anxious and unsure, some of the familiar physical symptoms reappeared. I experienced my first headache in at least 6 months on the day of my uncle’s funeral. And then the recurrence of symptoms became more regular – a twinge here or there in my low back, a migraine that seemed to show up out of nowhere, monthly menstrual pain that I thought was long gone, and eventually, heart palpitations, panic attacks, and the familiar symptoms of anxiety. However, this time, being more aware of the healing capabilities of my body and increasingly understanding the impact that various forms of stress can have, I was able to take a different understanding and approach in how I dealt with these recurring symptoms.
Despite the change in mindset, to say I was dismayed about these returning symptoms is an understatement. As my second year of chiropractic care progressed, I found my body reverting back to old and familiar symptoms. By spring, familiar general anxiety symptoms also returned – panic attacks, insomnia, and an inability to simply function well. Once again, my days became less productive as feelings of exhaustion also began to take over. However, rather than visiting my family doctor for a prescription for anti-anxiety medication and antidepressants as I likely would have done in the past, I instead returned temporarily to a more frequent adjustment schedule. Knowing that my body was currently under more mental stress and the success I had previously had in combating feelings of anxiety through more frequent chiropractic adjustments, I felt this was the more appropriate route for me at the time. I understood the impact that adjustments had on my body and how it enabled my body in the past to handle more stressful events in a calmer manner. Combined with exercise, a healthy diet and homeopathic remedies, I have since usually been able to be more mindful of my anxiety levels.
I believe there is certainly a time and place for medication for mental health, and everyone is different in their needs. However, I firmly believe that playing with one’s brain chemistry is a scary process and not something to consider lightly. Life is full of stress and sometimes, mentally coping can be difficult, especially if there are imbalances present. Many people simply are not aware of natural alternatives. Despite the stigma associated with mental illness, I have found chiropractic (and Dr. Gelber) key influencers in guiding me to discover for myself other alternatives that may help before needing to return to medication, whether that be through diet, exercise, homeopathic remedies, meditation, etc. When I am caught off guard due to added stress in my life and am forced to take a step back, I always seek out natural means and question whether medication is truly necessary and a path worth choosing, before reverting back to pill popping. Medication cannot take the place of the power that chiropractic adjustments have in restoring a better connection between my brain and my body – I am always able to think more clearly and productively after an adjustment in a way that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs never provided. Rather than dulling my emotions, although not always the quickest or easiest answer, natural endeavors have helped me restore a sense of balance, which is crucial for mental wellness.
